The Magnificence and Struggles of being Twenty (something)

What an age to be - twenty something, what a blissful decade to be part of. Most people will tell you that your twenties are the very best years of your life, and I strongly agree with each and every ‘real adult’ who says this. By the term ‘real adult’, with which you may not be familiar, I mean those with fully functioning lives, including real responsibilities and, in many cases, restraints. You know the type - house, kids, job, husband, maybe even a dog. I wouldn’t put myself in this category because I haven’t yet reached the ‘real adult’ phase. I am a ‘practicing adult’, like the opposite of a practicing Christian – I am at the age which defines me as an adult but I don’t want to be one just yet. I still have the freedom to jet off and explore the world if I so wish, without having to arrange childcare or a dog sitter.

I am currently a student and what better life could I wish for? It is an ideal time where I lead two separate lives, almost, especially as I have chosen to study away from my original home, like many other students all over the UK choose to do. One life is in the city that I have chosen to live and study in while at university. A temporary home with friends that I have only recently been acquainted with, but who have become so close in such a short space of time and will remain that way for life. Attending lectures just a handful of hours a week leaves me with copious amounts of free time to fill with self-preferred activities such as - lunch dates, drinks (lots of), leisurely swims, trips home, spontaneous napping and occasionally I fill time with my studies too. In fact, sometimes I feel like a middle aged woman who has it completely set out, no need to work, a diary filled solely at my leisure. A rich husband, a peaceful house in the week because the kids are at school, endless invites to relax and enjoy the undisturbed freedom.

The other life is the sentimental one – home. I remain content whenever I miss it because I always know that it will be there and that nothing will have changed when I return. Especially coming from such a small and close knit village, I appreciate this factor and my home-folk so much. The train journeys at the end of each semester fill me with excitement and that buzz does not fade no matter how far into my degree I get. In fact, I think the excitement simply increases each time, considering the fact that I have almost completed my studies and this has seemingly been the case so far. The spontaneous trips home throughout the semester are a bonus and I am addicted to the feeling that always comes over me when the rumble of the Virgin East Coast train engine begins and we set forth ‘down south’. The four-month long summer break where I can nestle back in to my old life with which I am so comfortable and truly belong are an absolute blessing, and as May comes around each year I look forward to those long summer evenings in the pub garden with all my special people and a glass of wine in my hand. Myself and any students reading this must be so grateful for the lives that we currently lead because it does not get much better than this, we are so lucky.

The only issue is that I do not have a rich husband (yet), or children, or a huge mansion in which I reside and the two lives of a student are in no way a sustainable way in which to live. I have to realise that it sadly will not last forever – I am not Peter Pan in Neverland. To begin with, it is a completely unrealistic version of adulthood and at some point you would no longer fit under the intellectual title of ‘student’ but rather the more appropriate title of ‘a bum’ or something of that demeaning sort. No in reality, which will soon come and slap me in the face extremely hard, I am a semi-poor student with a huge pile of debt just around the corner and desperately trying to figure out which path to take in post-graduate life, which appears to be creeping up on me at rocket-like speed. Half of my friends are planning their careers and thinking about their future, the other half are relaxing and pretending that the future will sort itself out in some magical way and then there is me, trying first to figure out quite how we are nearing the end of our time at university already as well as the previous situations described.

Which career path do I want? Where would I like to live? Have I got enough experience? Am I rounded? There are loads of jobs in London – but can I handle the hustle and bustle? All these questions are constantly bouncing between the casing of my skull. I have days where I am chilled, loving my student life and excited for the time that I have remaining, but then there are also days where I am in a state of panic worrying about my future, fretting about needing more experience and thinking about the daunting venture into the big wide world that is not so far away. This agonising fluster lasts for about fifteen minutes until I perform an adult-like action, such as looking for work experience on the internet, putting a load of dark washing on or working out my weekly meal plan before nipping to Sainsburys, then I can go back into my world of pretense for a little while longer.

University is a perfect opportunity for seeking experience in many ways; whether it is learning how to cook (survive), meeting a new network of friends, learning to live with non-relatives without killing them daily or actually gaining experience in the work place and through acquiring a degree, it is all very beneficial. However, time seems to move at a rapid pace which increases daily. So, by the time you have thought about the next meal you would like to learn to cook, the evening has already passed. When you have worked out who would be nice to live with next year, the contract is already signed. As you discover the type of work you would perhaps like to go into, second year is almost over and you are too late for internship applications. It is scary, there is no doubt about it.

What eases my mind though, among all this torment, is that it really is not all exclusively about the money, or the job, or the future. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the main factor that any twenty (something) takes themselves through the somewhat stressful process of gaining a degree or apprenticeship or suchlike is to have that label and increase their employment opportunities, that is the central factor. Yet - and I am speaking from experience here - when I walk into York Minster in the later months of 2017, in order to collect my certificate, I know already that this special certificate will not only represent my hard work, my grades and the work experience that I have completed during my three years of study, it will also represent my growth as a person. I began university as a young girl and I can tell, and have been told quite a few times now, that I am now a woman. I could not cook for the life of me when I first arrived, now I cook a delicious Spaghetti Bolognese and Chilli Con Carne among a few other specialities – even if I say so myself! The friends that I have met along the way are definitely friends to be treasured for life. I have grown as a writer and I have been guided towards the type of area that I would like go into. Not to forget that my memories of my three years spent in this beautiful city will be with me forever and I will be able to visit York in the future and tell my children and grandchildren of my amazing experience that was university.

So, not only is this particular stage of life a very scary and at times a tough one, with lots of decisions to be made that could potentially create big changes, it is also a beautiful time and one to be highly appreciated and embraced. A time to thrive and flourish, to discover who you are and what you enjoy. A time where many life-long memories will be created and many life-long friendships will be made. A time to have fun and make the most of complete freedom with next to no responsibilities. A time to cherish in the amazing decade that is, the twenties.