Grandad, I wish I could tell you

As it's nearing a year since my beloved Grandad passed away and recently I've been thinking about him lots, I thought I'd dedicate my newest blog post to the lovely man. This time in my life is so important. It's refreshing and exciting too, but SO important. The decisions I make over the next 6 months will change my life and the experiences I am about to have while travelling will enhance me for the better (I think). 

That post university feeling is a strange one as I'm sure many of you are aware, and so far I am happy how I've planned it. I have allowed some time in comfort at home enjoying my summer with travels to look forward to before the stress that is applications and interviews begins. With this comfort period, I've had time to reflect and realise I've changed in my person (hopefully) for the better, noticing my qualities and keeping a positive mindset for that scary job market waiting in the new year. However, my mind goes into a bit of turmoil from time to time where I'm counting the weeks of this comfort that I have left until the job applications commence and fretting about how fast this time will go. This fear isn't out of laziness or no motivation to get a graduate job, but more the lack of security, the pressure and the difficulty that the graduate placements present. This said, there have been many times recently when I've wanted to go to my little old Grandad's house up the hill and have one of our chats of reflection which always made everything OK. He was so 'life-wise' and I know he'd have had so much worthy advice. 

At 89 years old he'd insist he made the coffees while I sat comfortably and he'd always provide the yummiest biscuits. After I'd acknowledged the fact that he should probably turn the TV off because with the volume at 100 I couldn't hear a thing and he could't hear at the best of times. Then we'd begin.

Grandad I wish I could tell you. I've finished Uni and I'm waiting on my results, feeling very nervous and wanting to make everyone proud. I know you would be no matter what. I wish I could tell you how I've grown as a person coming out of university and into the big world. Oh I wish I could tell you how I'm about to jet off on a trip of a lifetime, half with Georgia and the other half alone where I will grow even more. We're travelling Europe all over, America, New Zealand, Australia, the World and we will have so much fun, returning with the fondest memories, we wish we could tell you. But most of all, how I wish I could be advised by you. On the bigger picture, my worries about the scary job market. Returning from the world trip which will speed by so rapidly to a pile of job applications which may or may not get replies. The lack of knowing my future or having a solid plan. The pressure financially how experience is often done for free and so money will be tight. I wish you could tell me how to ignore the opinions, the judgement that come from every angle. I know you would say you're proud, I know you'd say not to worry. It is an exciting time just very pressured too. I wish I could tell you.

So as much as this is a post to recognise the special bond that I shared with my dear Grandad, it's also a reflection on life post university. A life full of freedom and positivity but also a scary unknowing time. I'm so lucky still to have two amazing Grandparents with me and a strong network of family and friends surrounding me with so much support and love. So if you're in this position or feeling similar in a different position in life, go and talk to a special friend or relative, and if they're no longer here then write to them. It helps and often its the kind of advice that we need. 

You'll all be just fine x

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