Unwritten Rules
So, as I grow older, and maybe a tiny bit wise, I think by the time I finally find myself in a relationship, I shall know the ins and outs of men! I mean, when you look at it from the outside, it really is a piece of cake ( I have a funny feeling a lot of people may hate me by the end of this post, I am being a tiny bit tongue and cheek!). May I point out before I start, that when I say women, I am also referring to myself, I think the same, love the same things, and can see why men find us difficult to understand, equally men are an odd breed as well! We shall start off with men on men rules...URINALS. I clearly, am not a bloke, and did think it was only us women, however, I've been told men too have unwritten laws, and completely ridiculous ones at that! No 'urinal neighbours' or talking when using one, understandable, I often think, if I was male, I would prefer to use the cubicle for peeing as well, don't like the thought of lack of privacy when excreting! Men are WAY too open about it, but perhaps that is just because I am a lady, thinking in a lady-like manner! When off to the pub for an 'AWP' (after work pint), there is no such thing as ONE...there really is not, however, I would argue that this is the same in the life of women, or is that just me?! In addition, if a football match is on then APPARENTLY one is required to watch it, even if you are pretending, uninterested, mindlessly staring at the box, suppose this adds to your manly appearance! When in public, it is perfectly acceptable to hold your crotch for an inordinate length of time...ladies, can you imagine if you saw a female doing this gesture, just walking along holding her crotch, just NO?! GROSS.
And so for women...at a party, when greeting other females, especially those that you do not even know, MUST say how fabulous they look, double especially if they have complimented you. ( I must add that, because we are more observant than men, that when I compliment people, I really do mean it.) We do seem to think more deeply about everything, for example it is almost an unwritten rule not to call or text someone the same day of getting their number, this would not even cross a the mind of a bloke! One that even men could tell me about women...Here is one for the Moulton 'lushes', and probably most women across the country, probably the most important...ALWAYS have spare wine in fridge...in case of an impromptu visit from another lush, or female friend in need! Despite the fact that I thought us women had an innumerable amount of unwritten laws,and that men say we are THE most difficult sex to understand, I think they are lying, I found it incredibly hard to think of them. Or am I just oblivious, and feel some rules we live by are actually the law?!
Moving on to everyday life, rules that we all live by, things that should be law,it would be a bit silly if they were but they should... when researching some of these, I surprised myself as I did actually think it some were law! Just goes to show...! Drivers out there... is it not the most irritating thing when you are in a rush, desperate for a wee, starving hungry and late for dinner with the love of your life (how would I know?!), you drive into the petrol station, and there is some ponce at the pump, EVERY TIME, guaranteed. They slowly creep out of their little car, crawl round to the nozzle, and realise they have got the wrong side for their pump. Slowly but surely they drag the hose over their car, making a right mess of things, and eventually stick it in! Having filled their car up they put the nozzle back, and think a little, then fancy a bit more petrol. When finally finished, they put the cap back on, walk to the desk to pay, and realise they have forgotten their wallet. When edging back to the car they spot a nicely priced bag of coal by the door, and struggle as they carry it to the counter to be saved for the time they eventually get back to pay...ALL THIS TIME YOU ARE GETTING MORE AND MORE ANGRY...they get their wallet and dawdle back into the shop, pay for their things, and then their mate Geoff is in there who they have not seen for years...WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT?!...they arrive back at the car, give you a little nod and smile to say 'oops' and then drive off, leaving you wanting to whack that bag of coal around both their and Geoff's head. Do not do it people, it should be illegal.
Picture this scenario, you are on a lovely day out shopping with your friend, the sun is shining, you have money in your pocket, perfect, what could possibly interfere with your happy mood? I shall tell you what. When you are walking down a busy street (because when the sun comes out in England, everywhere explodes with people!) and some carefree fool, stops smack bang in the middle, to finish off her/his text, or blow their nose, or something of the sort...I mean it is slightly more acceptable if it was to be a little old dear, needing a breath, bless their heart, but when this is clearly not needed, and the person is being plain awkward, that is when it should too, be illegal!
And so, for the most interesting part, the unwritten rules between men and women. The rules that when you look at them from and outsider perspective, they seem hilarious, however, they are so true, and should be stuck to. The man has to drive, unless drunk or physically unable to. Fact. I have no idea why (and no men, it is not because you are better drivers) but it is the case. Still today in a modern society...well mostly! I think it is the whole idea of 'gentlemanly', a bit like 'ladies first', but I still do not really understand it. Furthermore, birthdays, valentines, Christmas...flowers, cards, chocolates, candles, words, are all expected, not asked for, but expected...most men I am sure see this as completely bizarre, a waste of money and utterly ridiculous, however they do it anyway, because they know that if they fail to, then their love will not be best pleased, which will lead to disappointments(!) Also, if a lady is down, ALWAYS, ask what is wrong, and try to sound interested, even if it is simply hormones and we reply 'I'M FINE.', we expect the care... I will be the first to admit that this is so true! Men, if you had our monthly cycle, you would so understand.
I am trying my utmost to prevent this from being sexist, so now I shall go from the man's perspective. When with the boys, having a beer, watching the rugby/football/cricket/golf...leave them to it. When serving dinner, give them the biggest portion. And I think, that is about it!! Easy peasy... not really. I shall re-do this post in 10 years time, simply writing I take back ever saying men are easy to understand, I assure you I will.
These are just a couple, there are so many more unwritten laws that we live by everyday. I just find it so interesting and quite funny too, at how silly some are, but really so very true! I am also shocked at how hard it is to think of them, because they are clearly so integrated into our lives, that we do not even think of them ourselves, and just simply 'do'. Therefore, I ask my readers, if you can think of any more, to either comment below, email me, or write on my facebook page www.facebook.com/hariboblog with your ideas, I would love to hear some!
And so for women...at a party, when greeting other females, especially those that you do not even know, MUST say how fabulous they look, double especially if they have complimented you. ( I must add that, because we are more observant than men, that when I compliment people, I really do mean it.) We do seem to think more deeply about everything, for example it is almost an unwritten rule not to call or text someone the same day of getting their number, this would not even cross a the mind of a bloke! One that even men could tell me about women...Here is one for the Moulton 'lushes', and probably most women across the country, probably the most important...ALWAYS have spare wine in fridge...in case of an impromptu visit from another lush, or female friend in need! Despite the fact that I thought us women had an innumerable amount of unwritten laws,and that men say we are THE most difficult sex to understand, I think they are lying, I found it incredibly hard to think of them. Or am I just oblivious, and feel some rules we live by are actually the law?!
Moving on to everyday life, rules that we all live by, things that should be law,it would be a bit silly if they were but they should... when researching some of these, I surprised myself as I did actually think it some were law! Just goes to show...! Drivers out there... is it not the most irritating thing when you are in a rush, desperate for a wee, starving hungry and late for dinner with the love of your life (how would I know?!), you drive into the petrol station, and there is some ponce at the pump, EVERY TIME, guaranteed. They slowly creep out of their little car, crawl round to the nozzle, and realise they have got the wrong side for their pump. Slowly but surely they drag the hose over their car, making a right mess of things, and eventually stick it in! Having filled their car up they put the nozzle back, and think a little, then fancy a bit more petrol. When finally finished, they put the cap back on, walk to the desk to pay, and realise they have forgotten their wallet. When edging back to the car they spot a nicely priced bag of coal by the door, and struggle as they carry it to the counter to be saved for the time they eventually get back to pay...ALL THIS TIME YOU ARE GETTING MORE AND MORE ANGRY...they get their wallet and dawdle back into the shop, pay for their things, and then their mate Geoff is in there who they have not seen for years...WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT?!...they arrive back at the car, give you a little nod and smile to say 'oops' and then drive off, leaving you wanting to whack that bag of coal around both their and Geoff's head. Do not do it people, it should be illegal.
Picture this scenario, you are on a lovely day out shopping with your friend, the sun is shining, you have money in your pocket, perfect, what could possibly interfere with your happy mood? I shall tell you what. When you are walking down a busy street (because when the sun comes out in England, everywhere explodes with people!) and some carefree fool, stops smack bang in the middle, to finish off her/his text, or blow their nose, or something of the sort...I mean it is slightly more acceptable if it was to be a little old dear, needing a breath, bless their heart, but when this is clearly not needed, and the person is being plain awkward, that is when it should too, be illegal!
And so, for the most interesting part, the unwritten rules between men and women. The rules that when you look at them from and outsider perspective, they seem hilarious, however, they are so true, and should be stuck to. The man has to drive, unless drunk or physically unable to. Fact. I have no idea why (and no men, it is not because you are better drivers) but it is the case. Still today in a modern society...well mostly! I think it is the whole idea of 'gentlemanly', a bit like 'ladies first', but I still do not really understand it. Furthermore, birthdays, valentines, Christmas...flowers, cards, chocolates, candles, words, are all expected, not asked for, but expected...most men I am sure see this as completely bizarre, a waste of money and utterly ridiculous, however they do it anyway, because they know that if they fail to, then their love will not be best pleased, which will lead to disappointments(!) Also, if a lady is down, ALWAYS, ask what is wrong, and try to sound interested, even if it is simply hormones and we reply 'I'M FINE.', we expect the care... I will be the first to admit that this is so true! Men, if you had our monthly cycle, you would so understand.
I am trying my utmost to prevent this from being sexist, so now I shall go from the man's perspective. When with the boys, having a beer, watching the rugby/football/cricket/golf...leave them to it. When serving dinner, give them the biggest portion. And I think, that is about it!! Easy peasy... not really. I shall re-do this post in 10 years time, simply writing I take back ever saying men are easy to understand, I assure you I will.
These are just a couple, there are so many more unwritten laws that we live by everyday. I just find it so interesting and quite funny too, at how silly some are, but really so very true! I am also shocked at how hard it is to think of them, because they are clearly so integrated into our lives, that we do not even think of them ourselves, and just simply 'do'. Therefore, I ask my readers, if you can think of any more, to either comment below, email me, or write on my facebook page www.facebook.com/hariboblog with your ideas, I would love to hear some!
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