Niagara Falls: we gotta find a bar, if we don't then we're opening one

Edging out of my hotel at half past five in the morning then edging straight back in as soon as I saw people, presuming they were going to kill me because it was dark, I took my extremely country bumpkin self to the subway. Thankfully, I survived and made it to central New York to catch my bus to Niagara. 

I've gathered on this trip so far that I have an approachable face and instantly made friends in the line with an American man. Fifteen minutes into our journey, I realised that when he said 'do you have that over there' he actually meant Europe rather than England. He aligned my roots in the U.K to brilliant coffee (that would be Italy), stunning mountains full of snow (that's the alps) and delicious chocolate (that's in Belgium). He sat swearing the whole time, bitching about being on a coach and claiming all the guide was telling us about American history was wrong, while constantly pining for his next cigar. He also decided that the guide was stalking us because he fancied me and then hoped it wasn't him that the male guide fancied as we ran into the queue in McDonalds for our hash browns at our first stop of the day. Nonetheless, he made my 7 hour trip to Niagara so much more entertaining, though I did breathe a sigh of relief when he stopped talking and fell asleep for half an hour. That's your introduction to 'Stink' of Arizona.

We made our way north through the three states of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania to Niagara, with beautiful lines of trees beginning to turn marking our way. My new friend, being from the desert land, was amazed by the amount of greenery, whereas I just felt right at home. 

Each stop we made was followed by a rant from my neighbour and usually too much food for that time of day. However, I did make the most of the all you can eat buffet at lunchtime. 

Finally, at around 5pm we arrived at the falls and got off to explore the American side. I immediately ran to the mist to soak up the water and check out this magical sight, the rest of the bus stayed back and dry - wimps. It was incredible and I could have stood there for days just watching and listening to the water. The guide kept laughing at me because I was constantly walking around with the biggest grin stuck to my face, but I was just so happy to be there. In fact, the enthusiasm I was showing, I think I may be turning slightly American. 

After we'd explored this part of the falls, I thought that was it. I was then told that we hadn't seen the Canadian side. So, I assumed we'd hop on the bus, pop over to Canada, check out the fall and head back to our hotel on the American side. Then, eight people were told they couldn't join, my friend being one, and I asked why? Well, you need your passport to get through the border. Now to cut a rather long and confused struggle in my brain short, I didn't realise any of this and never knew how official it would be, or that I'd acquire another stamp on my passport and boy was I excited about this!

Waiting in the traffic to get to border control, the guides who were now slightly grating on me after a long and busy day of travel, decided to entertain us (as much as you can in a traffic jam). They told stories about people who have crazily tried to cross the falls and kept feeding us information, way too enthusiastically, about our itinerary to which I had zoned out so heard none.

I made it through border control and felt extremely chuffed with my newest stamp on my passport, headed to the hotel to dump my bags before witnessing the falls all lit up under the stars - a magnificent sight.

Rising early the next morning out of my SUPER KING SIZED BED and preparing myself to be reunited with my hyperactive friend, I got ready and headed down for breakfast. We began the day remaining in Canada to properly see the Horseshoe Falls by daylight, before heading back to America to get on the Maid in the Mist.

Stink had now nicknamed me "H-bomb" because I'd told him I already get called "H" at home and he wanted to be original, so as I grabbed my fetching poncho and heard him calling this out, I knew there was no way I'd ever shake him. We had fun though and got sufficiently soaked in the mist,  attempting to take pictures but at the same time cause no water damage to my phone.

Luckily it survived and we got back on board the 'fun' bus, where Stink and I appeared to be the only ones having any fun, and began our seven hour trip back to New York. THE longest trip ever, stopping at a bloody supermarket for lunch, and then a mall of all places. We began slagging off this mall as soon as we left and more so when we knew that we weren't going to be arriving until 4:30pm so that was my show on broadway out of the picture because no way would we get back to New York by 6. In fact, the only thing keeping me going was the knowledge that there was a bar at the mall so I'd be able to enjoy a beer.

This plan became an epic fail when I found that the bartender wouldn't accept any ID outside of the US except a passport and that was stuck in the bus. I'd showed my driving licence which last time I looked was an official document but I wasn't going to get arsey so just swallowed the fact I couldn't have a beer and......obviously I didn't, I moaned the entire hour an a half we were there.

Eventually, at around half eight we returned to Times Square. Stink wanted to thank me for making his trip, so he took me to John's pizzeria, voted the best pizza in New York and Juniors for cheesecake, also voted the best. This was a perfect way to end my stay and I got to have my beers so I was very happy. 

Florida, here I come!

Things i've learnt at Niagara:

-I'm a "right beat" (I think that's a good thing)

-They bitch about us Europeans calling it a 'toilet' so much that I've started to use the term 'rest room' and I'm basically American

-When Americans say 'over there' they don't mean England, the mean the whole of Europe which they refer to as if it's one country

-I always attract the 'characters'

-How to get dirt cheap broadway tickets

-That apparently I sound like a member of the Royal Family

-That crossing borders takes time and is not just a case of popping to see the falls from the Canadian side for an hour then popping back to the USA  hotel 

-Strange tour guides fancying you works fully in your favour when he's in charge of designating hotel rooms for the night

-Russians prefer the way we speak English than the Americans 

-stealing things from hotels is going to save me a lot of money on this trip