4 Things That You Only Discuss In A Retail Setting

Ever find yourself having a conversation with work friends and immediately after your words have been uttered you think to yourself "why did I just say that?" Or a customer walks in and you find your mouth running away with itself and chatting about the most mundane things that even you think is painful to listen to? If the answer is yes, then here are a few things that I'm sure you will relate to, things we all converse about in a retail setting.

The Weather

What is it with British people and the weather? All you have to do is look out of the window to know exactly how hot it is or whether it's raining. You may have only just entered the shop so you've just experienced what the weather is doing at that very moment, yet people still insist on reporting this for you. They'll report that "it's raining outside", when you've just been stood in the downpour waiting for your bus. Thank you for that Jim, couldn't have figured for myself. "Just what we need", they'll continue, "good for farmers." 

At risk of sounding like a irritable old woman, there is absolutely no need to inform each other, especially if you are working. Yes, Derek, I know it's warm today and yes I do wish I was outside enjoying the sun, but sadly some of us aren't retired, bored and have nothing else to talk about other than this boring topic of conversation and I'm trying to earn a living.

Stock

Another topic only ever discussed in retail. Never in any other life scenario would you comment on how quickly ham is selling or which sandwich filling is easier to eat in the car. You wouldn't be out for dinner with a friend and chat about the price of a Freddo rising to 30p and your horror at this because you remember them being only five pence. If you did find this happening then you need more gossip, make something up, because this is one of the things that defines old age. The price of stamps, the tasty new biscuits or penny sweets, how Sally has changed her butter preferences. Sometimes I think I just talk for the sake of talking at work, especially now relaying some of the things that pop into my head. Oh dear.

Customers

This is when it can get bitchy. People irritate you who'd never even cross your path usually and you feel that you must comment on everything. "Cor, did you hear what Jane wanted in her sandwich today? Tuna and ham, I mean who has tuna and ham?" Jane, obviously, and that is totally fine and quite frankly none of your business - a sale is a sale. But still it deeply infuriates you that she hasn't gone for cheese with her ham. Or those people who walk in and dither - the ditherers are the worst - JUST DECIDE. Or they speak so silently that you have to keep asking what they mean, meanwhile the time is passing and the queue behind them is rapidly increasing as is your frustration. Phew! I'll stop right there. Have another glass of wine.

Appliances

Now this is a second age defining topic of conversation, and not one that is only necessarily discussed in a retail setting but if ever you've found yourself getting excited over your new cooker of fridge freezer, listen up. In life, as soon as you find yourself becoming satisfied with a kitchen appliance, you're old. However, this isn't quite so true because myself of only twenty two years of age did just this the other day. The pan was at optimum heat, everything cooking to perfection and I was jolly happy. To the point that I expressed this tale to a customer who agreed that it's all in the appliance. She claimed that her casserole dish that she'd had for years and that she paid a mighty price for is the best thing since sliced bread and tops anything around today. At that point we both stopped, we're not that old yet.

I realise that I am going slightly off topic now and beginning to list examples of my rambling and the lack of ability to remain silent for too long leading to talking about ridiculously tedious things. So, I'll stop before I reveal more, but I bet any of you other lucky people who work in retail have many more topics just like these ones.